By Dan Lalande
The statistics, according to a recent report by the Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence, are daunting:
One in four Canadians is a caregiver; 30 to 47 per cent of them feel anxious, worried or overwhelmed and 50 per cent have experienced financial stress due to ongoing duties.
Whether those obligations entail looking after aging parents or dealing with other family members with complex physical and mental health needs, it’s proving increasingly difficult for today’s caregiving culture to access the emotional capacity, physical energy and mental acuity to care for others while caring for themselves.
For all that these empaths endure, one of the least acknowledged is “compassion fatigue,” a condition in which the state of love, understanding and commitment that spurs them on transmogrifies into indifference, agitation and despondency.
“It’s about how much you’re able to balance every day,” explains Erin Shaheen, a registered social service worker and psychotherapist based in Ottawa. “Common signs that you may be suffering from ‘compassion fatigue’ include emotional exhaustion, cynicism, depression and loss of hope.”
Erin specializes in offering counselling to adults dealing with a variety of life stressors, people on the ADHD and autism spectrum and parents of neurodiverse children.
“It starts with self-awareness,” Erin offers, “acknowledging how much you can realistically give on a daily or weekly basis.” From there, caregivers can learn to exercise ‘self-compassion,’ a form of personal inventory aimed at renewing the spirit via small, practical solutions.
“Start by incorporating moments of self-care into your life,” she advises. “This could be a mindfulness practice, a long walk or even just a cup of tea. Even if they’re only in increments of 15 minutes, they can make you feel grounded and present.”
She also advises, when possible, building gentle boundaries that can facilitate group exercise or social occasions. “Talk to yourself as you’d talk to another person experiencing this,” she advises. “Listen to the advice you would give to them.”
Those grappling with compassion fatigue should also talk, Erin advocates, to a professional. Experienced specialists such as herself work in a variety of settings, from group sessions to one-on-one.
Too often, though, those services are called upon by professionals themselves. Both in her original profession and her current capacity, Shaheen has seen the effects of compassion fatigue on colleagues. As a result, there’s an exodus from the field, a situation exacerbated by low pay, lack of benefits, shift work and other deterrents crying out for systematic reform. Now’s the time; due to Canada’s aging population, the demand for care is outpacing the number of those able to provide it.
While there’s a growing grassroots movement to institute a National Caregiving Strategy, those currently holding the fort, whether they’re paid support, family, or others, are trembling under the weight.
“Whatever the kind of caregiver,” says Shaheen, “a personal plan needs to be in place. That’s how you find the capacity to keep going.”
