The Little Things
By Jason Marshall
Finding a moment void of chaos in the Marshall household is a rarity.
I had to sneak out the bedroom window just before sunrise and shimmy down the drainpipe to avoid waking the kids. But here I am. Flying solo at the breakfast table.
It’s unnervingly quiet.
I can distinctly hear each snap, crackle and pop.
What’s concerning is that I’m not eating Rice Krispies.
Just the sound of my wrist, elbow and shoulder as I lift my coffee cup to my lips.
With the calendar now flipped to January and another birthday in the crosshairs, bodily noises are sure to be amplified. On the upside, my hearing is starting to go. So, I probably won’t notice.
Squeaks and creaks will suddenly appear. So will new jiggles. The odd wobble. Rogue hairs will show up to the party uninvited and others are going to leave early to take up residence in your hairbrush or shower floor.
There are aches. There will be lapses in memory and judgment. Your eyesight will falter slightly because your arms are obviously getting shorter. Then there’s the matter of that extra chin.
This is called aging and you live with it.
For men, the hardest part of growing older is acceptance. We cling to our immaturity.
Guys won’t dare miss taking the truck in for an oil change or a tune up. But when it comes to our own well-being, we won’t visit the doctor because if we’re not told something is wrong, then there’s obviously nothing wrong.
This year, if I don’t listen to my wife and get in for a checkup, I may be visiting a doctor in the emergency department to have her foot removed from somewhere it never should have been.
I need to be healthy for her. For my family. For my kids’ kids down the road.
For myself.
It’s that last one that resonates least but should matter most.
Self-care and mental wellness are things we all have control over and need to embrace.
We spend most of our lives being devoted to others. Partners. Kids. Grandkids. Our co-workers. The people who sign our paycheques.
Our adult lives are consumed by sacrificing our own enjoyment and “me time” for everyone around us. Putting ourselves first isn’t easy and typically comes with a tsunami of guilt.
As I sit here all alone, third cup of coffee in hand, I’m feeling philosophical. Could be the caffeine. Perhaps the searing lower back pain from trying to get the lid off the jam jar. Most likely the deafening silence is driving me mad.
But here it is.
There needs to be a shift in the amount of energy you put into others and what you put into your own mental well-being. You’ll always have an obligation to others, but that should never outweigh your responsibility to yourself.
It’s usually later in life when we realize we shouldn’t do things that waste our time or completely stress us out. Time is the one thing we should value above all others. It’s the one thing that when it’s lost, it’s gone forever. Irreplaceable.
We need to be more deliberate with our time. It needs to be spent on things that bring us happiness, fulfillment, purpose and love.
It’s imperative we use it wisely. This is the foundation for having a healthy mind, body and outlook.
Take something as simple as reading a book. If I started a novel and wasn’t into it, I felt compelled to struggle through it until the final page. But why should I force myself to finish it? Now I put it back on the shelf and move on. I want to spend my time reading a book that draws me in and is enjoyable.
Life choices should mirror that approach.
Happiness comes in many forms. Whatever you choose should fill your heart and feed your soul.
It could be volunteering. Painting. Gardening. Or fishing.
Helping a neighbour may be what you need to do. Or signing up for a cooking class. Playing 18. Perhaps going for a hot shave or to get your nails done.
Maybe it’s a date night once a month with the love of your life. Or a bowl of Rice Krispies to start your day.
Whatever it may be, you need to embrace it. And soon. There’s no time to waste.
Move yourself to the top of your must-do list.
It needn’t be a drastic lifestyle change, just add some little things that bring you genuine comfort and joy. They can truly make all the difference.
Jason Marshall has been a writer and journalist for more than 35 years, and is an on-air host and general manager at Valley Heritage Radio just outside of Renfrew, Ontario. And he’s truly a big kid at heart. You can email him anytime at jason@valleyheritageradio.ca
